Until the Glass Reflects the Light
by SailorKickass270
Summary: "Happiness could resemble glass. Even though you don't usually notice it, it is still definitely there, you merely need to change your point of view slightly and that glass will sparkle whenever it reflects the light" - Suzaku.
1. Chapter 1

It's been so long since Lelouch's death. Suzaku couldn't forget anything that had happened that terrible day. Everything had been set up and Lelouch, knowing he'd die, smiled the whole way.

Suzaku never understood how it made sense. Sure, his plan to change the world included his death, but how could that smile… That sly smirk he always has, stay upon his beautiful face?

Underneath the mask, Suzaku wanted to cry, but he convinced himself that he was too strong. Tears are weakness in the eyes. And he wasn't weak, but he did stain his hands with his friend's blood. And that gave anyone, even somebody as emotionless as Lelouch, an excuse to break down crying.

Suzaku, wondering around the city in the middle of the night, couldn't stop thinking about that day. It always haunted him. Pushing his sword through Lelouch's stomach, his eyes watering as the prince grabbed onto him, whispering words that he could no longer remember. The blood smearing down Suzaku's mask once Lelouch let go, dying. And the worse moment of all, Nunnally's painful and piercing cries as she held on to his body. "BROTHER! BROTHER!"

The heartless hurrahs of the people upon the death of such a special boy….or more…a man.

Suzaku never seen him again, and he'd live with this murder for the rest of his life. However, Lelouch was the cause of Euphemia's death…so why was he not happy about spilling his blood? He should have been. That was something he yearned for, but when it happened, all he felt was disgust and gloom.

Suzaku continued to walk, turning a corner and then catching sight of somebody. He was, or seemed around the same age as Suzaku, wearing a hoodie and jeans, with purple, killer eyes and…a familiar face… Was that really?

"Lelouch, is that you?"

The boy turned around. His hood was up, shielding his face. "My name isn't Lelouch. It is R.R."

Suzaku couldn't stop staring. He looked so much like his friend. Or was he just hoping he did? "R.R?"

His purple eyes blinked. "Yes. Who is this Lelouch?" The question came out as if the boy was completely interested in the dead raven-haired boy who had once been emperor.

Unfortunately, Suzaku was too depressed to even think about him, but he still replied. "Well, he's the one who changed this world. Japan was once overrun by Britannia, and he made sure that the Japanese and the weak were never treated with disgrace, that every man, no matter what, was equal. He fixed the world entirely. And now everything is fine, but he's gone."

R.R seemed into the story now. "Gone where?"

Suzaku shrugged, tears welling up in his emerald eyes. "Why are you still here?"

"Because," R.R pulled down his hood, revealing a face that caused the new Zero to gasp. "You're crying and I hate it when my friends cry."

R.R's appearance wasn't an imagination of Suzaku's, it was real.

Suzaku collapsed to his knees, grabbing onto R.R's legs, wrapping around tightly as if he'd never dare to let go.

It started to drizzle, hitting both the boy's face's when they looked up. But Suzaku didn't care, not when the person he'd been missing all his life was standing right in front of him for the first time in a long time. "YOU! You're…..alive?" He uttered, his voice cracking.

"No, I'm dead, Suzaku. You killed me."

"NO! NO! NO-"

Lelouch- or R.R- slid down to his friend's level, wrapping him up in a hug. "I'm dead. I'm dead…"

Suzaku held back his sobs, but the tears wouldn't stop, creating streams down his cheeks, causing him to squeeze his eyes shut. All he could think was "monster." That's what he was. He had allowed himself to accept Lelouch's plan, to kill him. And there was probably another way. Another way they could've went. Something else they could have planned. What was he thinking?!

"M-m-monster…" Suzaku sputtered. This was the weakest he's ever felt. Weaker than when Euphy died. Weaker than when he learned Lelouch's secret… even when he had impaled a sword through his own best friend. The only thing he wanted now was to be dead.

Lelouch grabbed Suzaku's chin, tilting his head up so they gazed right into each other's eyes. "You're anything but a monster. You've helped me create a new world, a world where Nunnally and others like her can be happy. Everyone's equal and-"

"You're dead," Suzaku said bitterly.

"And it was all according to the plan." Lelouch's hand pulled away from his friend. "Remember what you said happiness might look like?"

The brunette thought for a bit. "Glass."

Lelouch nodded, smiling as if recalling the memory when they were young. "And do you remember your words exactly?"

He tried to think, tried to seize hold of what he said before, but he couldn't. How would he be able to know what he said about happiness so many years ago? Especially in this time, when all he felt was despair and pain. Biting his lip, he sighed, shaking his head. "Do you?"

"Of course." Lelouch watched the sky, even though there was nothing to see but the drizzles of rain falling down. "Happiness is like glass. Usually you don't notice it, but it's always there, you merely need to change your point of view slightly, and that glass will sparkle whenever it reflects the light." His expression became soft. "And that's what you need to do."

Suzaku looked at Lelouch. "I do?"

The prince rose to his feet, and gripped Suzaku's hands, covering his with his own. "Take this and search for your happiness. It's there."

"But…I miss you so much…" he trailed off, feeling the tears beginning to come back as he tightened around the object in his hand. It was cold and smooth. Was it glass? He didn't check to see, afraid that his friend would vanish if he looked away.

Lelouch smiled. "I'm not gone. I'm always there; you just have to change your point of view slightly."

Change his point of view? What was that supposed to mean? Nothing hid the fact that Lelouch was dead… because of him.

Suddenly, the raven haired boy turned, lifting his hood and starting to walk off.

Suzaku jumped up, yelling as loud as he could, "Wait! I finally get to see you and you're leaving without saying goodbye?"

R.R didn't stop what he started, but he did reply back. "Change your point of view! I promise when you do you'll see."

And with that, he disappeared. But Suzaku didn't want that. He wanted to hang out with Lelouch more, wanted to ask questions, wanted to talk to him. He broke into a run, chasing the person he needed the most. "R.R! Lelouch!"

No reply. No nothing.

"R.R! LELOUCH! PLEASE!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Heh…at first I thought it was good, not so sure now *sad faceeee* but since I worked so hard, even though it only took about five days, I'll still post it. Maybe I'll get lucky, who knows! :P thanks for reading! Continue on, your majesty *bows* xD**

Suzaku woke with a sudden start, sitting up in bed, his heart pounding, breathing heavily.

It was all a dream? So, him seeing R.R, or Lelouch, for the first time since he had "killed" him never happened? Of course it didn't. Why would it? This was no Disney princess movie. In the end, there was no such thing as a happy ending. In the real world, everything was the hard, screwed up way. And even the good people with the best intentions die at times.

Suzaku, the new Zero, would have to live with this, for the rest of his days.

He grasped his covers, crumpling the ends in his fists, his eyes narrowing angrily.

_**Change your point of view, Suzaku.**_

The Lancelot pilot relaxed his expression, remembering the dream he had just had. Oh how badly he wanted to be happy, the depression was killing him from the inside out, but where would he find his happiness? Where would he have to 'change his point of view'?

Slipping out of bed, he began to walk to his closet but was stopped, glancing over at his desk.

There were a few pictures of his days at Ashford academy, majority of them included glimpses of Lelouch, along with his attempts to smile. Suzaku stared. He really missed that boy.

Just as he was about to continue on and get dressed, something flashed into his eyes, making him grimace and squeeze his eyes shut. What the hell?

He slowly advanced over to his desk, his eyes ready to shut if the light attacked him again.

As he got closer, he noticed two pieces of glass sat there.

And not just any pieces of glass. They were shaped in two letters, side by side. R.R.

The one from his dream who resembled Lelouch?

**Change your point of view, Suzaku.**

Suzaku backed up. The glass didn't move or anything, but that's not what he was waiting for it to do. He scooted somewhat to the left. The fragile, clear R.R's did nothing.

Huffing, he moved forward then a few steps to the right and when the light shined into his eyes, he wasn't surprised. Not this time. Was that the point of view he was meant to be looking from?

He looked up at a picture of Lelouch. The boy was sitting down, his hand up in the air, trying to block the camera, and failing. And there was a smile on his face.

Those were good memories. All the memories from his past, if they included Lelouch, were special as far as the brown haired boy was concerned.

Suzaku beamed at the photo. "Change my point of view, huh?"

...

The emerald eyes of Suzaku Kururugi couldn't help but sparkle, almost like the R.R shaped pieces of glass that were in his jacket pocket. He had never felt happier since Lelouch's parting. Now as he walked in the city, he could actually notice the glowing souls and smiles of the Britannian people, and even the Japanese who had once been forced to be called Elevens. He could feel the change in the atmosphere, feel the new world that Lelouch had created with his plan, and he only wished the ex-emperor could be here too.

_Crack._

Something made a shattering noise and Suzaku raised a foot, looking down.

It was another R.R shaped piece of glass. He was about to pick it up, but he stopped himself, deciding to 'change his point of view.'

He reared back, tilting his head, however the R didn't sparkle. No happiness there.

Suzaku circled around it gradually until it shined into his vision, causing him to blink and smile. He didn't move his feet at all. Glancing around, he turned left, right, then straight ahead, and his eyes widened, his jaw dropping slightly. He could not believe what he was seeing.

The same boy seemed to have noticed him too. He wore the same hoodie and jeans from before, from the dream, his hood up oddly even though it was sunny and bright outside. Maybe it was since people still knew what the ex-emperor looked like.

There was no way that boy knew how badly Suzaku wanted to speak to him, but his body refused to move, he was completely in shock. Was that really Lelouch, or R.R? Or was he just imagining everything because that's what he wished?

The hooded boy's hands were in his pockets, but he raised his left up, tracing something in the air. He traced an R and then another one. R.R!

A smile formed across Suzaku's lips and barely, he spotted R.R grin back in return.

There would be no conversation between them, but at least he had gotten to see the boy. So everything that happened, wasn't a dream, he really did meet some other kind of version of Lelouch. Or possibly just the same old Lelouch who had somehow survived, but maybe Suzaku would never know the answer to that question. And maybe it was best not to know.

Suzaku reached down and picked up the R shaped glass he had stepped on, holding it in his open hand ever so gently with care. He looked up and R.R was gone, having disappeared as fast as he did the last time. Even though Suzaku felt sad that R.R was no longer near, he had some kind of strong feeling that he'd see that boy again. And not just randomly, but anytime he wished.

Grasping the cracked glassy R tightly, Suzaku whispered, "I get it now, R.R. Whenever I want to see your face again, all I have to do is change my point of view, until the light reflects the glass, right?"

Suzaku was unaware of it, but just above him, on top of a building, R.R looked down at the Japanese boy, smiling. "Right, Suzaku…"


End file.
